Savages

Dear Mr. Oliver Stone... what happened to you? I hear your name and I remember the classics ; JFK, Platoon, Wall Street. But this? Really? This is a script you should have taken off your desk and inserted directly into the nearest trash receptacle.

Let's see, where to begin. Okay, two old high school buddies go into the weed business. One of them is an ex-SEAL named Chon (Taylor Kitsch - whom you may know from Friday Night Lights or John Carter or Battleship - things have been going real well for you lately), is the crazy PTSD suffering enforcer. The other is a botanist / hippie named Ben (Aaron Johnson - Albert Nobbs and Kick-Ass), he's the one who came up with the recipe for potent pot. A mexican cartel lead by Salma Hayek, is trying to cut into their business, trying to learn their secrets for a achieving a high THC percentage. They don't want to deal.

So naturally, the cartel is looking to persuade the two weed entrepreneurs to join their team, so they go after what is most precious to them. Oh, did I mention that this just happens to be a girl they are both sleeping with? (Take a while to digest that). Oh, and her name is Ophelia, called O for short. (Give you another minute). She's also played by Blake Lively, known for the T.V. show Gossip Girl , and she's not that hot. (Again, I'll wait).

Let's ignore the fact that there's no way these two characters would ever even talk to each other let alone stay lifelong friends & business partners, but the fact that they can both have sex with the same girl within minutes of each other and still be cordial is INSANE. (Not only insane but gross, I didn't see a single condom wrapper anywhere - yuck) At one point she narrates "I know what you're thinking, slut right?". Without even pausing I answered "Yep" aloud in the theatre, and received laughs from guys and girls alike, they were thinking it too I guess.

Benicio Del Toro is the enforcer for the cartel and an artist when it comes to persuasion - a.k.a. torture. John Travolta is a corrupt DEA agent who Chon & Ben bribe once a month to carry on with business. Benicio & John - are times really that tough? What are you guys doing here? The best scene in the movie features these two together, exchanging words in a delightfully sweet dance that, along with some satisfactory violence, almost saves the movie... almost.

Long movie short, they go after her and take on a mexican drug cartel, and somehow gain the upper hand by kidnapping Salma Hayek's daughter and swapping for O. And just when you think it's over, with all three of the characters in this deranged threesome lying dead in the desert, they pull a rewind. Oh, that's how it could've happened, but let's add another thirty fucking minutes to it and create and alternate ending shall we? I guess good and bad actors both jump at the chance to be in an Oliver Stone picture despite how crappy it might be. For shame.